a major comeback (i hope)

gEezz... my last post was 21 June and today is .....27 Feb. talk about discipline man haha. i even forgotten that i do have a blog until my lecturer Ms Leena was asking me about it and here i am after more than 8 months. it's a sad thing really, because with the field that i'm majoring in now, writing should be my strongest point. i am here to tell myself that currently it isn't. i supposed i should also be telling myself to work on it and not play JT's Block so much. NO MORE YAHOO GAMES!! okay maybe i'll play it for one last time after this then i'll straightaway cut myself from it. wish me luck! anywayz tomorrow would be the first full stream class with lots of assignments to ponder and plan before actually doing it. so i should get a rest right? i mean like now i should enjoy my last moments of nothingness... but my biggest problem is i feel guilty all the time. if i am taking a break now i would carry this guilt that i should do something more productive but at the same time i want to continue what i'm doing now so hence the next few hours i would be half-heartedly watching TV or playing JT's Block WHILE i'm serving my guilt. now this is what i call inability to wholly absorb the moment. it is a problem because it also means that i tend to lose concentration and that leads to me not being able to enjoy myself doing whatever i do. just like how i would go out late and worry at the same time what my parents would worry about because i'm not home yet and stuff like that. i shouldn't even be worrying about stuff like that!! crisis crisis. this has got the change.... HELP!!!!